BUT ARE YOU REALLY NOT ON A DIET?

For the longest time, I thought that dieting was about the food you were or weren't putting in your mouth, and that’s it.

I’d be following the Atkins Diet and not eating carbs. Later, I was on Weight Watchers and assigning points to all of my food.

I even went on the Master Cleanse, didn’t eat food, and only drank lemon water.

Those are the obvious forms of dieting.

Then, in an effort to feel less controlled by food, I decided to “give up dieting,” meaning I was no longer following a prescribed, traditional diet or eating plan.

But I was still agonizing over the amount of carbs or calories in a meal.

I would still kinda add up the point values in my head and score my totals at the end of the day.

After eating certain foods or “eating too much” I would still feel immense amounts of guilt and shame.

I would still avoid social events for fear of not being able to “control” myself around food.

All this was still happening even though I was “not on a diet.”

Not surprisingly, women tell me all the time that they, too, “are not on a diet” but they can’t seem to stop thinking about what to eat, when to eat, or whether they should eat at all.

They are still planning meals, earning their meals, or making up for their meals.

The thing is, “dieting” is not about the types of foods you eat or not but rather has everything to do with how you feel and think about the foods you eat or not.

Said another way, your mental and emotional response to eating is the same even though you aren’t doing “Whole 30, Atkins, or Weight Watchers.”

If eating brings up an ethical or moral dilemma, meaning you are “good” or “bad” for eating a certain way, you are on a diet.

If you are trying to avoid eating a certain way and then judge yourself when you "slip up" and eat that way, you are on a diet.

When I am working with a client on healing their relationship with food I do not tell them what to eat or not eat (or provide meal plans or shopping lists, etc.) because their disordered relationship with food has less to do with the types or amounts of food they are eating and has everything to do with how they think and feel about themselves for eating.

Mindset medicine is the only prescription to heal this wound because dieting truly is a state of mind.

It's less action, more thought process.

xo Cara

Diet Recovery Resources

• To learn more about the non-diet approach to healing your relationship with food, check out my free video training series HERE.

• You can also check out my podcast, Love Your Bod Pod, on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.

• Lastly, you can also check out my books, or online course.

IS IT WRONG OR SHAMEFUL TO WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT OR CHANGE YOUR BODY?

I keep seeing this question being discussed on Instagram.

And I actually think we are asking the wrong question.

The question is not "is it wrong or shameful to want to lose weight, get plastic surgery, or do something else to change the way we look?"

The question is "am I going to have to abandon myself in the process of pursuing weight loss, getting the plastic surgery or whatever else to change how I look?"

The desire to want to change what we look like is not wrong, nor something to feel shame about. In fact, I'd argue it's completely understandable given the thin, youth, and appearance-obsessed culture we live in.

This desire is *often* about wanting to avoid judgment, oppression, and discrimination...it's about wanting to fit in and feel good enough. Those are pretty normal human desires.

Since we know it's *likely* that people will judge us based on our size, how clear our skin is, and how closely we adhere to the arbitrary beauty standards of the time, it's only human to want to avoid that judgment. Or to want to change something such that that judgment is more positive.

>To consider going on the diet and restricting the food, or getting the implants, or taking Accutane to clear our skin<

So what's left to do is to ask yourself: do you really want to do those things? If our culture didn't reward you or perceive or treat you differently, would you still do it?

And if the answer is no, then you are abandoning yourself to please other people and by letting the judgment of others rule your life. You're letting the judgement of others be in the drivers seat of your car.

That's the rub. That's what there is to look at.

It's not about "right" or "wrong" or whether you should feel ashamed or not. That's just more layers of opinion and indoctrination.

It's about being true to yourself and not abandoning yourself to the "shoulds" of society.

xo C

For more on this topic of wanting to lose weight and the impacts of stigma and diet culture on the desire to change what we look like, read these posts here and here.

Binge Eating Recovery Resources

• To learn more about the non-diet approach to healing your relationship with food, check out my free video training series HERE.

• You can also check out my podcast, Love Your Bod Pod, on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.

• Lastly, you can also check out my books, or online course.

IS IT HEALTHY OR IS IT DISORDERED EATING?

Disordered eating is a spectrum, and although there are places on the spectrum that are more dangerous or severe than others, the entire spectrum is problematic & harmful.

And you don’t have to have a full-blown eating disorder to be struggling with disordered eating or engaging in disordered behaviors that impact the quality of your life, your relationships, your emotional, physical, or mental health, and your overall well-being.

Below are some eating disorder behaviors (many of which our culture praises):

• tracking what you eat without a legit medical reason

• feeling like you need to earn or make up for what you eat

• feeling guilty after eating

• cutting out entire food groups without a legit medical reason

• using exercise to compensate for what you’re eating

• skipping social events because of fear of food

• skipping snacks or meals with the hopes of weight loss

• obsessive thoughts about food, weight, and body size

• using skinny teas, laxatives, or purging to compensate for eating

• ignoring signals from your body and using external sources like a clock or food rules

• trying to chew gum or drink coffee instead of eating

• anxiety about eating out at restaurants

• routine body checking, looking in the mirror, constantly weighing yourself

Because we live in a culture that values thinness over actual health, you might experience praise for these behaviors. You might see them as normal or even healthful, but they’re not normal. They are disordered eating behaviors.

If food causes you stress and anxiety, if you are constantly worried about your weight and what you look like, you are worthy of help! There is no such thing as “not sick enough” or “not struggling enough” to seek support.

Binge Eating Recovery Resources

• To learn more about the non-diet approach to healing your relationship with food, check out my free video training series HERE.

• You can also check out my podcast, Love Your Bod Pod, on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.

• Lastly, you can also check out my books, or online course.