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I keep seeing this question being discussed on Instagram.

And I actually think we are asking the wrong question.

The question is not "is it wrong or shameful to want to lose weight, get plastic surgery, or do something else to change the way we look?"

The question is "am I going to have to abandon myself in the process of pursuing weight loss, getting the plastic surgery or whatever else to change how I look?"

The desire to want to change what we look like is not wrong, nor something to feel shame about. In fact, I'd argue it's completely understandable given the thin, youth, and appearance-obsessed culture we live in.

This desire is *often* about wanting to avoid judgment, oppression, and's about wanting to fit in and feel good enough. Those are pretty normal human desires.

Since we know it's *likely* that people will judge us based on our size, how clear our skin is, and how closely we adhere to the arbitrary beauty standards of the time, it's only human to want to avoid that judgment. Or to want to change something such that that judgment is more positive.

>To consider going on the diet and restricting the food, or getting the implants, or taking Accutane to clear our skin<

So what's left to do is to ask yourself: do you really want to do those things? If our culture didn't reward you or perceive or treat you differently, would you still do it?

And if the answer is no, then you are abandoning yourself to please other people and by letting the judgment of others rule your life. You're letting the judgement of others be in the drivers seat of your car.

That's the rub. That's what there is to look at.

It's not about "right" or "wrong" or whether you should feel ashamed or not. That's just more layers of opinion and indoctrination.

It's about being true to yourself and not abandoning yourself to the "shoulds" of society.

xo C

For more on this topic of wanting to lose weight and the impacts of stigma and diet culture on the desire to change what we look like, read these posts here and here.

Binge Eating Recovery Resources

  • To learn more about the non-diet approach to healing your relationship with food, check out my free video training series HERE.

  • You can also check out my podcast, Love Your Bod Pod, on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.

  • Lastly, you can also check out my books, or online course.

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