Today on the Love Your Bod Pod I share with you my 4-step process for creating soul goals. Goals that are generated from a place of Authentic Inspiration and not Shameful Obligation.
When we create goals from a place of authentic inspiration we easily accomplish what we set out to do and have fun in the process. When goals are created from a place of shameful obligation we typically struggle to make time for them, only care about the end result and often struggle through out the process.
An authentically inspired goal is generated from a loving and genuine place of wanting to create and shift an area of our lives. It's sourced from self-care and self-love. It’s driven by a desire to challenge ourselves, grow as a person, expand past our edges and seep out of our comfort zone. It leaves us feeling excited, invigorated, and rich with a sense of possibility. It’s something we want to do.
A goal created from a place of shameful obligation is surrounded by a cloud of “I’m not good enough.” It is generated from a place of seeking validation, people pleasing and self-control. It’s driven by the desire to “fix” what we see as wrong or broken about ourselves and our lives and often has an air of needing to prove our worth. It leaves us feeling tired, uninspired, and infused with guilt when not working towards it. It's something we feel we have to do.
An authentically inspired goal is something we feel we are worthy and deserving of.
A shamefully obligated goal is something we feel we have to accomplish first to become worthy and deserving.
First thing to do is to make a list of the 20 things you have accomplished in the last year, and you can include that last two or three years in this list if you’d like but I would encourage you to stretch yourself and try to find 20 things from the last year that you are truly proud of.
The goal here is to not only build some self-efficacy by seeing how far you’ve come, but to also get a sense of what you have completed and saw through to the end.
This can be conversations with people in your field or potential field, like informational interviews, or to build relationships and network.
It can be a skill like cooking, guitar or exercising like your yoga practice.
It can be work or school related, it can be repairing a relationship with a friend or leaving an abusive relationship with a partner.
It can be saying no to parties and yes to nights in, or it can be putting yourself out there on dates, or talking to that cute guy or it can be books you've read.
Literally just things that you are proud of that you did in the last year.
It’s a great way to re-presence yourself to everything you have accomplished.
Take a minute or two for each thing on your list and check in with each thing you accomplished to see what was driving your action. Shameful Obligation or Authentic Inspiration
Questions to ask yourself to determine the source of each thing:
What was I hoping to feel by accomplishing this? Am I feeling that way?
Was this a goal that I day dreamed about? Or was it something someone told me to do or said I needed to do?
While in the process of accomplishing it, did I feel like I had to force myself to take action? Or was I inspired to work on it?
Really reflect and be honest with yourself here.
Generate some new goals for 2019 from a place of authentic inspiration. Really dig deep here and tune in. Is this ego driven or heart based?
Think about career, education, health (perhaps from the four body perspective-mental, emotional, physical, spiritual), relationship with food, body image, personal like travel, relationships or creative.
Then decide if any of them have a timeline or deadline or if they are just general goals.
For the ones that are more timely, create a rough timeline. I am always pretty loose with mine, I give myself a two week window, like I want this done within the first two weeks of January or the last two weeks of March. Because you know..., life happens and things pretty much always take longer than expected.
Here are some questions to ask yourself while making goals for the new year to determine the roots:
Ask yourself is this goal rooted in self-care or self-control? Am I taking care of myself or trying to control myself?
Is this goal generated from self-love or self-loathing?
Is it sourced from a sense of inherent worthiness or my sense of unworthiness?
Do I feel deserving of this goal or do I feel like I am not enough if I don’t accomplish it?
Who is this goal for?
Am I excited about the journey or just fixated on the end result?
Am I wanting to grow or wanting to be fixed?
Is this goal about creating a transformation in my life or am I seeking external validation?
Am I wanting to expand past my comfort zone or trying to stay or get more comfortable?
Ask yourself these questions and see what comes up.
Vision board that shit!
Manifest it, bring it to life, envision yourself embodying the energy to attract what you want knowing that when you come from authentic inspiration, you can’t help but take loving action towards accomplishing it.
Then share those goals!
I believe declaring our goals out loud and sharing them with others brings them more to life, you are showing up and letting the big U know that you mean business.
So I encourage you to declare and share your goals as well, so please do so and be sure to tag me on IG so I can share in your manifestation and goal setting process.
Check out the episode on iTunes or where ever you listen to podcasts.