top of page

HOW TO STOP FEELING OUT OF CONTROL AROUND FOOD

*By signing up for this series, you agree to the terms and conditions

and to be added to my mailing list to receive free coaching emails

Done! Check your email for links.

Sign up to get my
free video training

Search

It took me a while to learn this, but the solution to feeling really out of control around food is not trying to get in control of food.

It's a bit of paradox and counter-intuitive but the more in control we try to be, the more out of control we end up feeling.

In fact, it's very well-researched and scientifically documented that restriction (or controlling our food intake) leads to binge eating (or being out of control of our food intake).

That means binge eating is actually a symptom (or side effect) of restriction.

It's phase 2 of a cycle known as the Diet-Binge Cycle, and Diet Culture prescribes "willpower and self-control" to manage the symptoms, but it doesn't work long term.

Rather, the long-term solution is to address the root cause, not try to manage the symptom.

So while we identify as binge eaters, it's actually more accurate and a hell of a lot more helpful to identify as restrictive eaters because outside the context of restriction and deprivation around food (aka dieting), binge eating almost never happens.

I am willing to bet if most of you reflect back on your relationship with food, binge eating occurred after you started restricting and controlling your food (removing/reducing bread, sugar or whatever).

Have a lot of compassion for yourself if you're stuck in the cycle, it's not your fault. Diet Culture has misinformed us all. What it tells us will help us actually perpetuate and intensify the "out-of-control-ness" we feel around food.

All this is to say is that if you're struggling with binge eating, let go of your judgment around it. Instead, get curious about where in your life you are still restricting, on your plate and in your mind - because there lies the key to putting binge eating behind you.

xo C

Binge Eating Recovery Resources






After 10 years of dealing with an eating disorder, I know a thing or two about getting stuck in the very painful Restrict-Binge, or Diet-Binge Cycle.


I also know a thing or two about how to get out of it since I've been helping people heal since 2017 and if you're reading this, I truly want to help you, too, because I know how good it is to be free from it.


Chances are you've spent a lot of time believing that willpower and control are the solution to binge eating, but I am willing to bet that trying to rely on either of those has not been successful for very long. And that's because a lack of willpower or control are not why you can't stop binge eating.


Below are 10 reason why you can't stop binge eating.

1. You think that there is a "right" and "wrong" way to eat

And whenever you think you've eaten the "wrong" way, you say "to hell with, I'll just keep eating everything that isn't nailed down and start over tomorrow." The guilt and shame of slipping up sends you into a binge with the promise of making up for it.

2. You think there is an amount of food that is "okay" to eat and an amount that is "not okay" to eat

When you eat an amount that is "not okay," you judge yourself harshly and feel deeply bad about it. Judging the amount of food you eat from a place of fear and shame contributes to the diet-like way of thinking and thus binge eating.

3. You are afraid of the idea of gaining weight or not losing more weight

If you are not okay with the way you look it's unlikely you'll be okay with the way you eat. And if you are only okay with yourself if you look a certain way, you will only be okay with yourself when you eat a certain way. The two feed off one another. Body image work is a requirement for real freedom from binge eating.

4. You are trying to control your food to control your weight

Any attempts at controlling your food means you are on a diet and diet means restriction which means binge eating is bound to happen eventually.

5. You believe willpower is the answer to no longer binge eating

Willpower is like pulling back a bow-n-arrow. The tighter you pull it in one direction, the further and faster it will shoot in the other direction. Restrict --> Binge. Willpower has nothing to do with your problem with food.

6. You believe emotional eating is a huge problem

Like if you could just stop eating your feelings you'd be good. But if you are judging yourself as a failure for turning to food to cope, you are actively engaging in a restrictive thought pattern. The subliminal message is "this is bad, I need to be better tomorrow" - which often triggers more eating. Thus turning a benign coping mechanism into shame eating aka binge eating.

7. You hate your body

Whenever we have judgment and shame around our body, we can't help but be obsessed with food. So even just feeling bad about your body or weight can trigger a binge very quickly.. Additionally, it's also what keeps us going back to dieting or restricting following a binge, putting us right back in the restrict-binge cycle. Making some level of peace with your body is required to make peace with food.

8. You have unhealed emotional wounds and pain

Dieting at it's core is a coping mechanism, it's a way to manage the discomfort of living in a size-biased world. Some of that discomfort is a direct result of Diet Culture like repeat exposure to pictures of thin women, fat jokes in movies, comments from family, etc. Sometimes we project the weight of our problems, including unhealed trauma, onto the weight of our body. We can turn to food (restrict it or binge on it) to suppress, numb, avoid and cope.

9. You earn your food or make up for your food

For example, you ate cake today so tomorrow you have to only eat salad and work out extra hard. Or since you worked out and ate salad today, tomorrow you can have cake. This way of thinking and relating to food contributes to the diet-binge cycle.

10. You do not use your hunger and fullness signals from your body to drive your eating

You often do not eat when you are hungry or eat enough to fully satisfy your hunger. Conversely, when you binge eat you are likely eating way past the point of being comfortably full which makes you feel like you need to eat less or "be better" tomorrow just keeping you stuck in the restrict-binge cycle.

Notice how this list doesn't include things like "you keep binge foods in the house," "you can't stick to a diet," "you don't have enough willpower," "you haven't tried this special diet," and so on.


Maybe you noticed that all of these reasons relate to a way of thinking about food, yourself and your body in a specific way.


Which reasons resonate with you the most?


xo C

Binge Eating Recovery Resources

Updated: Nov 29, 2023





Vitamin P. P stands for Pleasure- and it’s actually really important.

Diet culture has stolen pleasure from us because most, if not all, people trapped in a disordered eating cycle have a hard time not feeling crazy around food.

Which doesn't exactly translate to pleasure and joy from eating.

The problem is humans are hardwired to receive pleasure from eating, but when eating is just about gaining and losing weight, it's damn near impossible to absorb it into your system.

And it is just as vital as vitamins A, C, E, K & B's.

Studies show that our pleasure, enjoyment, and satisfaction around and during mealtime affect the body's ability to absorb and assimilate nutrients.

That means that just thinking that something is bad for you is likely to inhibit the ability of the body to digest well, triggering bloat and physical discomfort. Not good for body image.

So that means the more we allow ourselves to enjoy what we are eating, the more likely we will have quality digestion and stop when full because we will have received the pleasure necessary to feel satisfied.

Often, we overeat not because we enjoy food too much but because we don’t allow ourselves enjoy it enough!


How many times have you been eating something, cake, cookies, chips, bread, whatever, but the entire time you're eating it, you're telling yourself "it's bad, it's wrong, you shouldn't be eating it" and you're worried about what it is going to do to your body?


When you do this, you are not actually allowing yourself to experience pleasure. You are essentially restricting that food even though you are putting it in your mouth.


So you just keep eating and eating and eating.

The actual food is only part of what our body's needs to feel full, we need pleasure in order to feel satisfied. Plenty of people keep eating even though they are full, it's only when we are satisfied that we stop.

Learn more about Vitamin-P restriction and how it triggers binge eating here.


xo C


Binge Eating Recovery Resources

bottom of page